8 Ways to Improve Your Conversation Skills

Here’s something you definitely already know: to expand your network, you have to get out and talk to people. But how exactly do you go about that, especially if you are an introvert? It’s already stressful to step out of your comfort zone and make new friends, but it can be even more frightening when you are trying to connect with the CEO of a company you want to work at. Here are a few tips you can use to help you prepare for the big conversations, or connect with people you already know on a more meaningful level.

Make the first move

This is the scariest part. The approach into the conversation will take guts, but it is up to you to make the first move. The person you want to speak with cannot read your mind. They won’t know you want to speak with them unless you say so. If you spend too much time doubting yourself or weighing the pros and cons of your approach, the opportunity will be missed. Once you see an opportunity, jump on it within 5 seconds, you will thank me later.

Focus on positive topics

People like talking to happy people. If you approach someone and immediately begin with complaints, they probably won't respond to you right away. If you are speaking with a hiring manager you want to establish a relationship with, you probably shouldn’t lead with a comment about how much you hated your old boss. Keep your small talk positive, and you can delve into different topics later in the conversation.

Don’t be afraid of silence

Silence around a close friend or family member can feel like no big deal, but around a stranger, it can be a little uncomfortable. But never fear! Think of the break in conversation as a saving grace. You can use this time to plan your next conversation topic, or think back to previous conversation topics and touch on them again. Doing this can help the conversation flow, and won't feel forced.

Think before you speak

Have you ever been in conversation and thought, “Why did I say that?!” This happens when you are nervous, excited, or otherwise unfocused. Your thoughts can become scattered and you might say something offensive, incorrect, or jumble up your words. In an important conversation (or any conversation for this matter), it is okay to speak slowly. Slow down your thoughts and speak slowly, with intention. You’ll find you will be more composed and be able to communicate your ideas effectively.

Cut out filler words

Most people will insert a filler word such as, “um”, “like”, or “uh”, if they are having trouble putting their thoughts together. It’s easy to insert these words especially if you are nervous, and don’t want to be left in an awkward silence (remember silence is perfectly fine). This skill will take some practice, so don’t be afraid to rehearse your conversations with a friend. Consciously cut out filler words in your everyday conversation, and it will be that much easier to compose your thoughts and impress your next employer.
Check yourself

Your body language can tell another person a lot about you. Slouched shoulders signal uninterest, and crossed arms show that you are closed off and unlikely to share information. Be sure to stand tall, and point your body towards the person you are interested in establishing a relationship with.

Don’t multitask

If you are trying to win someone over, you need to dedicate time to conversing with that person. Focus on the conversation and the conversation only. Do your best to be present. If you are distracted, it’s best to excuse yourself, refocus, and come back to the conversation when you can narrow your attention. First impressions are everything!

Remember, they (your interviewer, your boss, your friend) are just another person. No matter how high or low on the social ladder they might be, they are just another human being. Your conversation doesn’t have to be monumental or incredible to get your “in”. Take a deep breath and compose yourself. The hardest part is initiating the conversation, but once you have done that just remember these tips and the rest will fall into place.